Sunday, November 3, 2013

You Can Be A Mom And One Other Thing


I wrote this some months ago.  Today I was finally able to hit the "publish" button.


I have been trying to write this post for a while.  But it's hard to tell a story when you are still in the middle of it.  The short version is that it appears that my life is not turning out the way I planned, the way I dreamed.  I once wrote a post that I never published about how I had found the one thing that I had always wanted to do: to be a mom.  I never published it because it's easier to talk about what we ate for dinner, or what we store in our pantry.  Mothering is a sacred.  Talking about the holy makes me cry.

I love being a mom.  And I love being a full-time stay-at-home mom.  But that is changing.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am returning to the work force.

The hardest part has been to think of myself as something other than a mom.  To think of myself as a lawyer again.  I no longer wear stylish suits.  I now wear frumpy jeans and comfortable sweaters.  I no longer eat out at fancy restaurants for important business meetings.  I try to find tasty crock pot recipes so I can make a quick and healthy meal.  I no longer think critically about anything more than trying to help my boys grow up to be happy and independent.  I no longer represent interests before a judge or jury.  I am the judge and jury and if you don't do what I say, you will get time out!

My own mom tells a story about when my sister and I were little.  We were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up.  I think I said I wanted to be a mom and a ballerina.  My sister, who is much more ambitious than I, said she wanted to be a mom, an astronaut and a scientist.  I told her that she could only be a mom and one other thing.

My mom loved this little bit of wisdom I spit out without thinking.  You can only be a mom and one other thing.  Haha.  How true.

Being a mom takes a lot of work.  If you can focus all your energies on that one calling then you are blessed.  If you have to do something in addition to being a mom then you might want to take the advice of my wiser, younger self and stick to only one other thing.  That's what I plan on doing.  I am going to work on being a mom and something else.

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